i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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