now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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