Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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