when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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