dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
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I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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