4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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