I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
