I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
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I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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