Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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