Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
