I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize