It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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