Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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