you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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