is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sorry about my life...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
