So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
