so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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