you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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