After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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