I skipped work to stalk him.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
