someone threw a dead crab at me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
When did angry sex become our thing?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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