D3 body, D1 cock
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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