exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize