True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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