And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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