I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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