Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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