Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
