oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
