i just had sex bonerless
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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