That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
