Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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