is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
