this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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