Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Randomize
