I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to have your abortion
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
