Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
