Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize