i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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