what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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