which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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