But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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