Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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