I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
