I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
