wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
