did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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