My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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