I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
