Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
