I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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