someone threw a dead crab at me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
