i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.