I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.