dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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