No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
