I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
