wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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