I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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