Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
