is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize