Non-Jews are for practice
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can I color on your dick again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
