At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
