The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
