it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
