He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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