So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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